I am constantly torn between wanting to improve myself and wanting to destroy myself.

—Unknown (via skullsarethick)

(Source: beautyinthebellejar)

Rooted

It must have been seeds caught in the wind. 

Riding the flow of the breeze, these tiny seeds, came to land on my heart and call it home. They planted themselves on my heart’s soil, fertile with past and present emotions. Their roots dug deep into my heart, taking over the veins and interweaving throughout my entire body.  

They feed on me, and it’s not too long before I feel their blooms inside me. The most fragile roses of doubt. 

Never did I think I would want weeds and not flowers.

"Isn’t it fitting that a girl who clashes with herself almost daily,wear a lipstick that so clashes with her hair?” So she said.

"Isn’t it fitting that a girl who clashes with herself almost daily,
wear a lipstick that so clashes with her hair?” 
So she said.

Et j’aurais aimé être ces fillesQui, dans tes chansons, reprennent vie

Et j’aurais aimé être ces filles
Qui, dans tes chansons, reprennent vie

The Thailand Diaries: Mr. Jones’ Orphanage

I haven’t posted anything about my Thailand trip, and that’s a shame because it was such a lovely trip. Been experimenting somewhat with Photoshop Lightroom and came up with these photos of our visit to Mr. Jones’ Orphanage in Siam Center. 

Mr. Jones’ Orphanage is a cafe with a toy-factory/ toy-hospital sort of theme. It’s whimsical, with just a little bit of eeriness, just because of the idea of toy’s being thrown away and moving into the orphanage. It’s lovely if not a little bit cramped because of the gears weaving around the area, and the small seats.

Perspectives

Today during dinner my boyfriend and I talked about, well, I don’t exactly know how to sum it up, but we talked about SM, big industries, the economy, and semi-privatization to name some.

Up to now I’ve usually looked at these sort of things the same way, maybe because the people I’ve talked to have more or less the same perspective, or I guess I just haven’t been too compelled to try to look at things differently. But Mark really explained a lot of aspects that I didn’t think of before or didn’t consider before, and I realized you can’t look at such topics too narrowly. There is always more than one side. 

Today made me think that we are quite different people, we’ve always been different, and although I’ve appreciated that fact ever since, I do even more now. Sometimes I’m really amazed at the way my boyfriend looks at things, or amazed at the things he notices, and my own world and view has definitely become wider since I’ve met him. Honestly, I was a bit hesitant to bring up these sort of topics before because I was afraid of being mistaken about things. But if I don’t try to talk to him about it, I never will get to know his side of things, and that would be a shame. 

Also, today made me think of how we’ve grown a lot as a couple. I haven’t really asked Mark about this sort of thing like, hey, how do you think we’ve changed or you’ve changed compared to earlier in the relationship so I can’t say anything on his part, but for me, I think I’ve become more open, a healthy kind of open, not just the oh here comes my bucket load of feelings please understand me sort of open but just more of a free, it’s easy to frankly tell you things sort of open. I really do feel that we’ve grown a lot. I hope that in some way my presence has helped Mark grow, as his has with me. Today was such a great day, and I’m really so very grateful to have him in my life.

They say that when you grow older it gets harder to put your feelings into words and I think that’s true. I used to be able to write love letters or letters in general fairly easily, but now it’s becoming more difficult. I still feel the same feeling but I can’t as easily convey it as before. I want to write as much as I can before it becomes really hard for me. 

I fell in love with my boyfriend for the first time three or so years ago, and throughout those years I’ve kept on falling in love with him, and this was just another day when I did again. 

I find that I’m always stuck between reality and a dream. 

Whenever I get too fond of one, it always does something for me to be disappointed in it and just go off and choose the other one. 

I’m always in an affair with one or the other. 

"Darkness Becomes Light, Light Falls Into Darkness.Dreams are connected to each other.When you fall into a dreamYou are connected through dreams to “The world enclosed in sleep”. And if you open the “Keyhole of sleep” in that world…The world will be released…”—Yen Sid

"Darkness Becomes Light, Light Falls Into Darkness.
Dreams are connected to each other.
When you fall into a dream
You are connected through dreams to “The world enclosed in sleep”. 
And if you open the “Keyhole of sleep” in that world…
The world will be released…”
—Yen Sid

Practice, practice, practice.

Practice, practice, practice.

The Good Girl.

The Delinquent.

The Flirt.

高校生

Coming Soon